“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present” -Jim Rohn
I wish someone would have told me that quote 6 years ago when I was 15. For today’s post I decided to include a picture of the first time I remember being truly self conscious about my body image and weight and wanting to do something about it. It was on my 9th grade field trip to Six Flags in St. Louis. We were all going to move into new schools after summer, most of us had been together since kindergarten. All my friends had some kind of sport or activity they did, tennis, cheer, swimming etc., and they were all naturally very thin, I was not. I was teased about being a little curvier on top than everyone else but I got over that quickly they were just jealous. Even my own sister was smaller than me and she was 2 years older. I was suddenly realizing I didn’t look like everyone else and I didn’t like that. I know I’m not the only one who has ever experienced facing the mirror and not liking what is looking back at you. I decided for that summer I was going to try to lose weight before I started 10th grade at my new school, that’s where my journey began.
If you talked to one of my family members or my boyfriend they would probably tell you I don’t really share my feelings a lot. I am a private person, I don’t like to be upset or show my emotions, I want everything and everyone to be happy. When I decided to start this blog I decided I would open myself up to people I don’t know and people I do know. I wanted to do it because I feel like I’ve done everything you can to lose weight and I can help people to reach their own goals while I try to reach mine. Even if I only help 1 person it will be worth it because that’s all I set out to do. I hope to inspire and encourage people to believe in themselves and believe that no matter how far away your goal seems you can get there if you trust yourself.
About 9 months ago I was 10 pounds from my goal weight and I was feelin GOOOOOD. I was happy, healthy and in the best shape of my life but I just absolutely could not lose the stubborn last 10 pounds no matter what I tried, which was literally everything you could think of. I decided that I needed to do something I hadn’t tried before. So I turned to the internet to find something I had seen before but never really considered, health coaching. I emailed this lady, Amanda, and she said we could meet sometime for an assessment to see if it would work for me I signed up to work with her for 6 months. In the beginning, I didn’t take to heart a lot of the things she told me because they just seemed like it wouldn’t really make that much of a difference, all I wanted to do was lose 10 pounds. We talked about my eating habits and what kind of foods tempted me, which are mostly sugary foods, we talked about my family and how I grew up with food in my home. It was all about the relationship I had with food which was definitely an unhealthy one. Another thing that I noticed as I know Amanda did was that I was totally and completely fixated on numbers I was running my self insane with them. I wanted to be 135 lbs, wear a size 2-4. Period. Thats it and if I didn’t get to that point I would be unhappy with my life/self forever. The fixation went beyond just pounds and clothing size it was calories, fat, protein, carbs, points, weighing myself multiple times a week it had become unhealthy. Over the course of the 6 months with Amanda I realized suddenly I wasn’t weighing myself, I wasn’t tracking my food, and I didn’t feel bad that I wasn’t doing it simply because it didn’t matter anymore. I was able to focus on other things besides numbers for once. I believe my biggest challenge was to learn to trust myself and believe that when temptation came I do have the power to say NO because its not what I really want anyway. As it turned out I never lost that 10 pounds I gained some weight and I lost trust in myself. BUT I’m back and I’m ready to use everything I’ve learned from Amanda and from the past 6 of losing weight to motivate myself and hopefully motivate you to get back on the wagon and reach for your goals!
I included 2 photos with this post. The first one is from that 9th grade field trip to St. Louis and the other is from the summer between 10th and 11th grade after I lost the weight I said I wanted to lose. I don’t usually share bathing suit pictures with the public but I will make an exception for this.
From now on at the end of every post I am going to include a challenge for yourself and myself. Today I challenge you to start trusting yourself. When you want some candy or fast food or whatever your biggest weakness is talk to yourself. Ask yourself if thats what you really want? Do you want to undo the 2, 5 or even .5 pounds you lost or do you want to keep going and lose another 2,5, or .5? Is it worth it? If you think you really do want it and won’t live another minute if you don’t then HAVE IT! Restricting yourself is only going to hurt you in the long run. TRUST YOURSELF because you can do it and you are worth it!! I hope everyone feels a little inspired to reach for their goals!
love yourself today!
Cherbaby:)
This one is for you Amanda! Thank you for everything you helped me do for myself!
Losing Weight for Life 